5 Questions I am Asking as We Prepare for the Back-to-School Season
Usually, this time of year I am peppering my kids with questions. Are your backpacks still good from last year? Do you need new shoes?
This year feels different. This year I am driven to cut the fluff. Who cares about backpacks and shoes? What matters is what we believe, how we will act, and who we will be in this school year. With that in mind, my questions sound a little bit more like this:
1. Where are you getting your information? When my kids come home or get off their phones and say, “Did you hear?” my response will be to ask where they learned what they are passing along. Is the source reliable? Do they have an agenda? Discernment of truth is a skill I want them to carry with them the rest of their lives. It’s a precious gift God can cultivate in us — if we are open to it.
2. Are you thinking about others above yourself? We all have preferences and opinions, but at the end of the day, the Word of God teaches us to die to self, and to live with the interests of others in mind. I remind my children and myself: this is a season of “we” over “me.” Whatever might be perceived as inconvenient is a chance to display the supernatural nature of unselfishness.
3. Who are you trusting? When bad news comes (something is cancelled, a beloved friend is sick, another expectation is dashed) we get the privilege of asking God to reframe our thinking. He asks us to trust Him. Things will not always be as they are now.
4. How are you feeling about that? Empathy is a critical skill in interpersonal relationships. I want my kids to learn to say how they are feeling and ask others to do the same. When someone shares a fear or hard news, I want my children to ask a little more, and lean into their friends and family. The resulting gift is more meaningful connections.
5. Do you know I love you and am proud of you? There is a temptation at the start of the school year for me to ask questions about behavior and performance — questions about grades or athletics, a reminder of homework to be done. What if my questions reflected that I see each day as a gift and my children as the best part of it?
I’ll admit that we are focusing a little less on homework and a lot more on connection around my house. We are reaching out and cultivating belonging and attachment.
This year, things are clarified for me:
- People matter.
- Relationships are worth sacrificing for.
- God is in control.
- Today is all we are promised: so use it, and all its gifts, for His glory.
You can access this entire magazine for free here: Edition 41
